Total Eclipse of the Heart

I don't know what to think. I'm so tired...
...I know it's still fun to be in like...but I wonder why I let it get to me so. I've said from the very beginning that "there's no chance, it will never happen." It isn't in me to change that, and probably not in him to want to.
But I knew that all along.
I suppose I was consumed by the charge of being excited again. Perhaps I chose a focus that wasn't right. Either way, it's wise to remember the rational thoughts that came with it: This is what I want, this is what I don't want.
I am me...and nobody can change that.
And tomorrow - later this morning - I will still smile when I see his face. I will still feel a little skip in my heartbeat when he looks at me. I will continue to dream of what could be...but I will remember:

Don't dream too far,
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl...

Don't wish, don't start -
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl.

I can smile about that too, because somewhere in the world there is somebody who is right for each of us. God will lead the way, and I will follow. I've learned my lesson, and this time I won't grab onto something - or someone - He is trying to move in another direction.

no heart is perfect...but this one is mine.

I'm going to see what it's made of.