Since U Been Gone

It is amazing how greatly things can change in 24 hours. Or, even in three weeks. I've been learning and growing so much, and I finally figured out who I am. With the loss of hope for a resolution I was able to turn around and worry about me.
And that, it seems, is just what I needed to find a resolution.
I've been putting on an act since Brian left me. I was interested in different guys, thought that maybe if I found myself another man who wasn't like him I would be able to let him go. The problem is, I still had standards and things that I wanted in a man.

Since u been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah, yeah
Thanks to you, now I get what I want...

But that's not all true. What I wanted was Brian. And everytime he looked at me it was as if I could feel the hate just pouring from him.
Imagine my surprise, then, when last night I get an instant message from him. And the conversation progressed as most of our conversations had right before we broke up...into an argument. But then..."I don't hate you." And he tells me that no, he couldn't stand to be around me because it hurt being close and not being able to touch, to feel, to be a part of what we had before.
He tried to get over it, and over me. He tried to move on with someone else, but he knew. And last night, he finally admitted it...and I was finally able to admit to myself that I missed him. So we talked for six hours, four of them on the phone, and he told me he loves me, broken or whole, and that it's much too strong to be a high school love.
Could it be coincidence that the only person I've dreamed of in the last three weeks, real and tangible dreams that make me want to cry, is Brian? Is it mere chance that I couldn't bear to look him in the eye?
I love him. And I couldn't stand to be apart from him. I knew I would make it, though, as long as he was happy.
As of midnight, he is. So am I. One more try, the next attempt at finding the right fit. When I wrapped my arms around him this morning I felt that fit...I had to hold back tears because it feels so absolutely right.
I don't know what will happen. God does, though, and I will follow Him no matter where he leads me. Maybe we needed this separation to realize all of the wonderful things we have together. Either way, I have my love and my heart back.