Addictions and other Character Flaws

I am a complexity of randomosity. I love the dark for its secrets and solace, a downward transcendental redemption for the sins committed in the daylight. My life is an addiction. Much as sometimes I may want to turn away and start from scratch, somehow it draws me back in. I want to remember the things most important, so here's the proof - and another addiction.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Valentine's Day Revisited

It wasn't really, not in the sense that I had the greatest day of my life.
I had a very strange dream last night, and it took place on Valentine's Day. Not this past one, however; it was at some point in the future, or perhaps it was this past and only in an alternate universe or something. Brian and I were in a bar/restaurant that didn't look familiar to me, but in my dream I suppose it was. Anyhow, we were just walking in and there was a line; about three people ahead of us, in a black shirt and vest, was Kyle. So I reached ahead and tapped him, and he walked back to stand with us. He had Lindsay with him, only her hair was dark brown instead of blonde. Don't ask me why.
We hugged each other and he gave me a kiss, which was highly confusing because, come on, it's Kyle. I introduced him to Brian and we all sat down and talked..for a minute. Kyle took me down to another table a little ways away; I looked back and could see Brian watching us, so I smiled at him and turned to see what Kyle had to say.
"I'm worried about you," he said. I asked him why, and he told me that he was worried that I wasn't happy where I was. I assured him that I definitely was; he looked at me and put his hand on my face, and told me that he wanted to be with me.
So I looked into his eyes...and I said no. I told him that for years he was all that I wanted, and had he said the words I so desperately needed to hear then he could have had me at any time. But it was too late...I love Brian. That stays true in real life as well as in dreams. And he asked me if I was sure, which I answered unequivocally "Yes." We moved into another room and there was music going on; it wasn't very important. But when it was time to leave, Brian had gone.
I followed the path he had taken, and it led me to a room in a Galleria-type mall. Lauren was there, manifested in my interpretation. I introduced myself and we talked, rather civilly, until I saw that Brian was there. "It's time to go," I said, and he said "I'll be there in just a minute; I have to do..." I looked at him, and he came along. That's when the alarm went off.

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