In Hell

I live in hell. I was considering what a charmed and easy life I lead just last week, but I've decided that it isn't worth the sacrifice necessary. So I don't pay for things; I pay in heart's blood. My mother treats me like a fucking infant. She thinks she can ground me! I'd like to see her try and get me in trouble for leaving. As long as I don't take her precious car there's absolutely shit she can do about it. She can have the car; I'll walk. She can quit paying for me; I'll leave. I don't care if I have to live on the streets; it would be better than putting up with her.
She thinks she knows everything. What does she know? Brian may be younger than me, but he's far kinder and better than any other guy I've met! And she really has no room to be questioning my decisions, considering she's still head over heels for a fucking psychotic drunk that doesn't want anything to do with her and would as soon kill her as look at her. She's jealous that I have real love, with a real man regardless of his age. And she wants me all to herself and can't admit it.
She really thinks I'm a slut too. Just because we lie down to watch TV she thinks that we're having sex and that things are going to happen and OMG, she might get sued! It's all about her! Not only does she not have the faith in Brian's parents to trust that even IF something was happening they would be more understanding, she automatically assumes that I'm going to sleep with him because I've done it before. So I'm just Susie Slut now, open for any random person that wants a three minute bang. It hurts that that's all she would see me as; and she says I have to earn her trust. She's condemned me already; there's no way she'll ever trust me - and I've decided that I couldn't care less. I know that I'm not a slut; I've made mistakes but I'm doing right by Brian. That's what real love is about.
So much for me walking all over her. Oh, as God is my witness she's seen nothing yet. I'll make her cry yet, for all the times she's made me cry. Please, find me a place to go!