I'm Going To Marry Him

I've decided, once and for all in my mind. When there's something so precious and wonderful in your life, you don't cast it aside. You don't wait for the bottom to fall out. You fight like hell to keep it. Brian is what's precious and wonderful about my life. I'm going to marry him, going to be with him until the stars fade out of the night sky. I'm going to share my life and myself with him, create a new life and a new family and watch them grow and thrive with him. It doesn't matter if the day is tomorrow or twelve hundred tomorrows away; when he asks me for forever, I'll give it to him with open arms.
It really seems like I don't write anything else. :) I suppose it's really true; I just sit and think of whatever comes to mind first and I write it. Most of the time. Sometimes the first thing that comes to my mind is so awful that it doesn't belong in anybody's blog, but it needs to be figured out so I shoot it out to the right person and then things get better. My life isn't perfect, so I like focusing on the aspect of it that is.
In other news, Jen's pregnant again. Twenty years old and already has a two year old, and now she's going to give it another go. I'm seriously worried for the outcome of this situation. I know that Shane will take care of her, but the way they live is dangerous even to them! How do they expect to provide a healthy environment for not one but two children? I pray that something will change for the better for them, or else things could be disastrous.
Justin is getting ready to move out this way! He's going to be in Valley View, I guess, which isn't too far of a haul for either of us to come and see each other but he's in dire straits, what with not having a job and having school all the time. I really hope he pulls himself together now that he isn't involved with the crowd out West. Not to say I don't love James and them dearly, but they aren't going anywhere fast, not with the decisions they've made.
My last show is this afternoon; I think it will be my last show for awhile. It's a painful decision, but one of my OKC acquaintances made it crystal clear for me the other day: "it sounds more like a chore than a passion." Theatre should never be a chore, even when there are chores involved, but that's all it's become for me. I remember the days when walking onto a stage gave me the greatest thrill, but now every morning I wake up and its, "Oh God, please don't make me go to the theatre again." Maybe I'll get back into it as a hobby; it definitely, though, will not be a good profession. So I'm back at square one.
Oh well. Like I said, I'd rather focus on the positive because it makes it easier to deal with the negative. I have a man (yes, you're a real man) who loves me and who I love, a terrific new friend that I would gladly die for (Holla Phil!) and a family that even when bruised and cracked still stays together. I have the greatest treasures on earth, love in its many manifestations.
And I am going to marry Brian.